Our Ozman

We had to say good bye to our Ozman in early March. I haven't written about it before now because it's honestly still really hard to think about him. His thryoid tumor was growing exponentially and had to started to impinge on his airway, making it hard for him to breathe and sleep at night. But worst of all by far were his legs. They no longer supported him and he didn't even have the dignity of being able to use the bathroom by himself outside. We aren't sure if he was in pain or not, although we know it hurt him when he would fall down, which was really often. He couldn't depend on his legs to let him run around the yard or bounce up and down anymore (and he was definitely a bouncy boy).

It was the hardest decision we've ever had to make and I can't think about it now without crying. We know he's not hurting anymore - that he can walk and run and play just like he could when he was a crazy puppy. But, as much as we know that, it doesn't help with not having him here. He was a constant presence for us for 10 years - a faithful companion and friend and a total mess. We miss him so much.

The missing comes and goes randomly, usually with little things that happen throughout the day. I miss a warm Doodle dog snuggle at night when I'm going to sleep. And a nosy Doodle face trying to get all up in my business, no matter what I'm doing. I miss his nose to the ground routine after every meal. I miss his happy face when we'd walk in the door - no matter if we'd been gone 15 minutes or 5 hours, he was just as happy to see us. He was an awesome dog. My first baby and my best buddy.

We love you Doodle. Thank you for making us better than we were before we knew you.